Updated: Jan 9
So you're a single girl, living your best life and doing things your way. Maybe you're a strong, independent woman like Wednesday Adams, or a go-getter like Annie Edison from Community. Maybe you're even a little bit like Issa Rae's character in Insecure, navigating the ups and downs of young adulthood and relationships., embracing your sexuality and living life to the fullest. No matter what your style is, being single can be tough at times.
But being single also has its perks. When you're not in a relationship, you get to define yourself and set your own boundaries. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, without having to consider anyone else's feelings. It's a liberating feeling, and it's easy to be singular and focus only on yourself.
However, when a relationship enters the picture, things can get a little more complicated. Suddenly, you have to balance your own needs and desires with those of your partner. It can be tough to maintain that singular dynamic, and it's easy to get absorbed by the relationship and lose sight of who you are as an individual.
As a nurturer, many women have the tendency to covet and consume mates. Many have believed in the now-comical mantra, "You complete me." You may be looking for a man to complete you, giving him all of you in the hopes he would return the favor and make his every waking breath your own. You would make myself available day and night, without compromise, even canceling plans to follow your lover. But eventually, you'll began to resent him because he had his own life and you didn't.
It's important to remember that maintaining your own identity is crucial to a healthy relationship. Both partners need to be able to grow and thrive as individuals, even while in a committed partnership. It's a fine line to walk, but it's worth it in the end.
Make sure you have a strong understanding of who you are and what you stand for before you set out to be in a relationship. Know your singular self. The more you know about you, the better equipped you’ll be to participate in a healthy relationship, and you’ll be much less likely to tolerate what you don’t deserve.
I know from personal experience how easy it is to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship and lose sight of myself. I've been guilty of wanting to be with my partner every moment of the day and sacrificing my own goals and interests in the process. But it wasn't until I started setting boundaries and prioritizing my own needs that I was able to have a more fulfilling and successful relationship.
So my advice to you is to make sure you don't lose yourself in a relationship. It's important to maintain your own identity and keep pursuing your own goals and interests, even while in a committed partnership. It will not only make you a happier and more fulfilled person, but it will also strengthen your relationship and allow both partners to grow and thrive together.
And don't forget to schedule in quality time with your partner as well. Make sure you're taking care of yourself first, but also make sure you're not becoming so self-absorbed that you forget to set aside time for your partner. Communication is key, so talk to your partner about your needs and boundaries and make sure they understand the importance of you maintaining your own identity.
So go out there and live your best single life, and remember to embrace your independence even when you're in a relationship. It's the key to a fulfilling and successful partnership.
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